The unknown

So today was the first day I got sleep in, in a long time. It was nice. I'm still mad about the whole Kevin thing. I feel as if everyone besides him wants to meet me and be in there life. I'm the "unknown Caitlin." I'm very good at finding how I feel, and I don't cry that much. But yesterday was a huge tear jerkier. I was fine until Kevin's mom called me (my unknown grandma) She started crying cause she was so sorry for what Kevin was doing, and that was the first time she has ever talked to me. She has never met me before so she was happy that she at least got to talk to me. With her crying, made me cry. God! I hate crying. It's not cute, and it makes you look ugly, your face gets all red. Crying it over rated.

I need a friend that is a girl! I thought I found the perfect one. We shared so much in common. We shared the same passion for art. We are both major smart ass's, we just laughed about everything. But one day the calls just stop, everything stop. I didn't hear from her in awhile. Before hand we agreed that we were not going to ditch one another, or use each other when someone just wanted to talk about there problems. We both agreed that we wanted a "true friend" So I was mad, and messaged her on facebook.

Me: did I do something to make you not interested of not talking to me?

Amanda: no. U didn't do anything. I just dont think we have that much in common like ithought. Im not ready for a new friendship right now.

Me: wow! ok? that's real cool. Being told that you pretty much dont wanna be friends with me is as bad as ditching or using someone! w.e cool for you! enjoy life or w.e!

Amanda: i know that im hurting your feelings, but i don't understand why u think im "using" or "ditching" you. i haven't even known you for 2 weeks.

Me: telling someone there pretty much not good enough...cause using the fact your not ready for a friendship sounds like a excuse. so it forreal sounds like im not good enough. its cool w.e peace

I could have handled it alittle better, but you know how I been longing for a real friendship and right as I think I found one there "not ready for a friendship" ugh I need a Friend.

Should I or shouldn't I

So Kevin called me around 10:30 and started the conversion out with "What's your problem?!?!" how the hell you going to start giving me a attitude. So I told him how it would it appear that he was already forgetting about. So blah blah blah... it was a 8 minute phone call. He told me that he told his wife, So Since me and Ryan are off work Monday I'm going to see if Kevin and Stacy wanna meet up that day. And if he declines it or comes up with a excuse, then I will be led to believe that he didn't tell her. But he told me he wants to still be there for me. So I'm not going to fully trust him yet.

Whats next?!?!

Going, Going, Gone!

So, the past few days have been interesting. I'm just so hurt. I found out that Kevin has been lying to his wife. She asked him if he calls me every night, and if we hung out. He told her we don't talk that much and we never met. WTF?? I'm not a secret girlfriend, I'm his oldest daughter...the one he never see's! I'm not very pleased with him at the moment. He said he would call me back, and never did. And then I call me, no answer or call back? I'm so hurt! he promised me he wouldn't hurt me, and that he would be there for me. I'm a fool, I got my hopes up, I was led to believe that everything was going to be ok, and look at it now. It's all drama. At least the children that live with him, know whom the lying fake ass father is, and come to find out his house is beautiful, and he spoils he kids!

Why is my Child Support late all the time? What is going to be his excuse now? he is not young anymore, so that one is not going to work. He fucked up. Does he want to keep me a dirty little secret? Does He appear or look like he is going to hurt me?